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Giggle Corner 2012-13

Mathematical Jokes & Riddles

1.

*Excuse for not having done your math homework:*"I accidentally divided by zero and my homework burst into flames."2. What kind of snake is good at math?

* Answer

An adder.

3. What coin doubles in value when you take away half?

* Answer

A half dollar.

4. A horse is tied securely to a 30-foot rope. The horse wants to get some water that is 40 feet away. He gets the water easily even though he can't get untied and nobody moves the water. How?

* Answer

The other end of the rope wasn't tied to anything.

5. Teacher: How do you spell

*infinity?*

Student: I-N-F-I-N-I-T

Teacher: Yes, but what’s at the end of it?

Student: It doesn’t have an end.5. What coin doubles in value when you take away half?

6.

Teacher: If you had two dollars in one pocket, and $20 in the other, what would you have?

Student: Someone else’s pants.

17. What did one finger say to the other?

* Answer

You can count on me.

67 If it takes three people to dig a hole, how many people does it take to dig half a hole?

* Answer

You can't dig half a hole!

8. You put 10 oranges on a table and pick up 3. How many are left?

* Answer

10. 7 on the table, and 3 in your hands.

10. What did the zero say to the eight?

* Answer

Nice belt.

9. There were 99 people on a boat. The boat flipped over. How many people were left?

* Answer

66

11. Which weighs more, a pound of bricks or a pound of feathers?

* Answer

They weigh the same (a pound each!).

12. What is a math teacher’s favorite season?

* Answer

Sum-mer.

13.

Student: Mom, I got 100 today at school!

Mom: Great! What subject did you get it in?

Student: In three subjects! A 20 in spelling, a 50 in math, and a 30 in social studies!

14. If there are 10 cats in a boat and one jumps out, how many are left?

* Answer

None; they were all copycats.

15. Who weighs more, a 5-foot butcher or a 6-foot wrestler?

* Answer

The butcher. He weighs meat all day.

16. Two kids were playing checkers. They played 5 games. They finished every game, they each won the same number of games, and there were no ties. How can that be?

* Answer

They weren't playing each other.

18. Two U.S. coins total 30 cents. One of them is not a nickel. What are they?

* Answer

A dime and a nickel (one isn't a nickel, but the other is).

19. Ten birds are sitting on a fence. A cat pounces and eats one of them. How many are left?

* Answer

None. Do you really think the other birds are going to sit around while the cat is still there?

20. Why is a math book better than eternal happiness?

* Answer

A math book is better than nothing. Nothing is better than eternal happiness. So a math book is better than eternal happiness.